Just a few questions

We're trying to figure out what we believe and why and at the same time trying to find a church to grow in and worship with. It's hard to figure things out from a distance, but it's scary to get too close. I guess that sums it up fairly well. I talk big, but if its face to face I fall apart. I usually get out what I want to say but only if I wrote it down beforehand.

Here are some things that are important to us, but I don't know if we're looking at the right things and saying this is important.
1) family integrated worship- no age segregated ss on a regular basis
2) homeschool friendly-not just tolerated
3) not KJV only-strongly prefer the KJV not to be preached from
4) 6 day literal creation
5) fellowship that's real
6) the doctrines of grace unashamedly believed and preached--no tiptoeing around the buzz wordsHere are things we know are important to understand, but don't really get it yet(not in any particular order)
1) paedo-communion vs credo communion
2) infant baptism
3) believers baptism
4) wine vs juice (Lord's Supper)
5) bread-leavened or unleavened; yeast? (Lord's Supper)
6) the whole covenant thing
7) excommunication....shunning? ...barring from the table
8) household baptism
9) regulative principle of worship
10) how do you chose a denomination?--do you figure out what you believe first or do you just pick a church and plan on leaving in the future after you realize you don't believe what they believe?
11) What are the true fundamentals of the faith? the Westminister Confession?
12) what about the exceptions and the different versions of the Westminister Confession? What if I get the "wrong" version that's twisted somehow, or a study guide written by a nut with a familiar name? I'd rather do nothing than do it wrong.
13) militant Scottish presby history-Scottish presbyterian denominations
14) church history
15) How are dissention or doctrinal differences/disagreements supposed to be handled?
16) the whole church gov't and court- how does it work?--do I really need to understand it?
17) barring from the table/fencing
18) closed vs open communion
17) Are we to pursue justice?

Here are a lot of questions I've thought of to go along with #17:
a) Is the answer different if the person is a believer or not?
b) what if he claims to be?
c) Let's say he's been confronted and denies any wrongdoing; do you pursue justice by actively looking for information that would cause justice to be carried out on earth?
d) Do you pursue justice based on the severity of the offense?
e) Is seeking justice too close to seeking vengeance?
f) How is it common grace that one hasn't received justice; isn't that more mercy than grace?
g) Is mercy permanent and (common)grace temporary?
h) I heard/read somewhere that God's justice is mercy in that it stops one from continuing in sin unabated. How are justice and punishment related? and how do they differ?
i) How does one decide that it is time to pursue justice or to wait on God to carry it out?
j)If one decides it is right to pursue justice; then how is that done without it taking over every spare moment and more?
k) Do you wait until you have time or do you fit it in?
l) What criteria should one have to determine whether it is right or the right time to pursue justice?

These thoughts have been on my mind quite a while. I usually push them aside, but it seems that God keeps bringing them up due to sermons or Sunday school lessons and even fluff books I've read recently. I don't know, maybe it's just something to sidetrack me and it's not from God at all. I can't tell the difference.

There's a lot of things that are on our minds. I don't know how to order them. I do know that I belong to God, but some days that's all I'm sure of.