Mondays Irritating Question

Sundays question is, "How are you doing?" For most people I give some version of normal like: "Fine", "Doing all right.",  "Been busy" or list some activity we did or might think about doing.  Then along comes Monday and the question changes to, "So, how was your weekend?"  Really?  What is with the small talk?  I hate small talk.  I don't even like the phrase "small talk".  Why does the fact that I am trapped in a chiropractors office mean that I have any desire to have the same conversation starter that I don't want to start, started over and over.  This chiropractor has several therapies going on in series so I endured this question more than normal in a short span of time.  By the time I was at the massage therapists station I was so done dancing around the question of my weekend.

We somehow ended up having a real conversation.  I steered it by commenting on why my neck and shoulders were so tense and knotted up.  I simply said I've been really stressed for the last couple of weeks.  In turn she asked about why or what has been the stress.  We ended up with a genuine conversation about Bob Jones University and the GRACE investigation and also another Christian college she was much more familiar with.  I think she was a bit more free than she planned on being and seemed worried that I would be offended; and stressed that I did ask and it was only her opinion.  Hopefully I put her at ease on that point, but I doubt it.  I did enjoy a real conversation not based on polite small talk.  I didn't say much; it only took a decent comment on my part and she was off and running.  After the massage station I only had to endure one more person asking me about my weekend. :D

In case you were wondering, but certainly wouldn't dare to ask me now; my weekend was a mixed bag.  Friday was a major trigger type day.  I thought I could read a Psalm without ill effects.  NOPE, crash and burn.  Friday night was a big church get together at somebodies house.  That was good, but still triggering and I stayed more on the outer edges of things.  I love a good party and the wine was great and quite helpful.  Saturday we had a picnic and walked around downtown and enjoyed the day.  We hit all the little shops that we never stop in, and I found two Louis L'Amour books I haven't read yet.  Sunday at church was mildly difficult on my scale.  I was able to stay here even when triggered, and only had a few flashbacks.  In the afternoon I went out for dessert with a friend for my birthday, and I enjoyed it.  So that was my weekend.

Writing it out doesn't sound so bad, but when I was asked about my weekend  the only things I could remember were the intense triggers on Friday because I read a Psalm and the triggers and flashbacks on Sunday that stayed in the manageable range.  I only needed to use a handful of methods to keep me here and didn't have to use them the whole time.  I wish my first thoughts were of the nice picnic and the shops and going out with my friend.  I didn't think of any of those things the whole time I was at the chiropractors office being asked constantly about my weekend.  I don't know why

Bob Jones University Can't Rewrite History

Yesterday was such an emotionally charged day with the news that BJU had re-hired GRACE that

 

I had a hard time processing it enough to write. I already had a counseling meeting scheduled with

 

my pastor, and of course that was one of the topics we discussed.

 

 

 

As soon as I found out I felt a huge weight lift and a lot of tension in my body released. Rejoicing and

 

skepticism fought for dominance in my thinking and emotions all day. I'm still not sure where the

 

pendulum is going to settle. I do know, in a practical sort of way, that Bob Jones University is only

 

going to do what they are forced to, and if they had been able to find any other way around this

 

backpedaling and re-hiring of GRACE without any changes to the original contract, they certainly

 

would have done so. This is good news, yet it should never have even been an issue. BJU should

 

never have terminated GRACE. They didn't suspend them or the investigation no matter how they

 

try to lie about it and change the wording now, after the fact. I won't forget. We won't forget. They

 

can't rewrite this bit of history. Survivors have been silenced and told what the “truth” is no matter

 

what is remembered for many years. There are now too many writing the truth for a successful BJU

 

history re-write to occur. I know in my own life it's all been rewritten and how things were, is ignored

 

or forgotten. I'm not a child anymore and I am far enough removed in time that I can stand my

 

ground on what is true regarding my past. Therefore there is no way that BJU can wield that

 

institutional amnesia over me and other survivors, and have us succumb to their version of the events

 

by trying to alter the facts of their wording. No, they really did say

 

 

And here is the link for the termination letter

 

Bob Jones University's Termination Letter to G.R.A.C.E. 

 

If the link ever goes bad or gets deleted for some reason, I have a copy of the letter as a PDF on my

 

computer that I will put here in place of the link.

 

Last night a former high school classmate and fellow BJU grad asked me to briefly explain what the

 

BJU and GRACE thing was all about that she has been seeing and hearing about everywhere. I was

 

more than happy to fill her in, knowing that my explanation of recent events and the GRACE

 

investigation in general will spread farther. I can't fix what is wrong, but I can help carry the load; I

 

can give that hug and weep with those that weep and even rejoice with those who rejoice. I hope for

 

justice someday, but for now I can only do the things I am able in order to make my sphere of

 

influence a little brighter and a better reflection of how things will look when the world is set right

 

once again.

Bob Jones University's Termination Letter to G.R.A.C.E.