I talked to a lawyer, actually went through a small string of them, this past summer. What it comes down to is that I have great info and diaries but without someone else with a similar experience it is not a case that can be won.
So it's left up to me to either hire or be my own P.I. and find other victims/survivors of this scumball of a teacher that was mine in 6th grade in a well-known christian school in the good ole state of Missouri.
He's been in other states too. Anybody out there? I'm running out of prosecution time. He's taught for over 20 years and even been a principal and it's always been in christian schools.
I'm not asking for vengence. If you want that it's between you and God. I don't want him to continue to hurt children. My class was the second year he taught. I've learned a lot lately about sexual predators and even at his fresh out of college age he was very good at what he did. With hindsight I can see his techniques, and they were not those of an amateur. I don't believe he has stopped and statistics will back me up.
Please help me to stop him for all the children he must have already hurt and those that are his future or present victims.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Acting the Turtle
Do you ever realize that you're probably wrong about something, but you just can't let go of it? I've a few things right now that are that way. It's always been easy to excuse because the other person is a lot more to blame than I am.
What I'm struggling with right now is that I'm keeping people at arms length or farther because somebody recently dropped me and backed off like I came down with leprosy. It's not that I'm so thin-skinned that I can't take it. It's more the timing of and that it seems to be the story of my life.
How do I look to Jesus and not people and yet still have biblical relationships and real fellowship? I understand that people will disappoint or outright hurt me in various ways. I want to minimize the damage by acting the turtle. I don't want to be a box turtle and keep everybody completely out and I don't want to be a snapping turtle and scare everyone off. I'm thinking I'd like to be some type of sea turtle or giant tortoise; approachable, but not everybody's dinner.
What I'm struggling with right now is that I'm keeping people at arms length or farther because somebody recently dropped me and backed off like I came down with leprosy. It's not that I'm so thin-skinned that I can't take it. It's more the timing of and that it seems to be the story of my life.
How do I look to Jesus and not people and yet still have biblical relationships and real fellowship? I understand that people will disappoint or outright hurt me in various ways. I want to minimize the damage by acting the turtle. I don't want to be a box turtle and keep everybody completely out and I don't want to be a snapping turtle and scare everyone off. I'm thinking I'd like to be some type of sea turtle or giant tortoise; approachable, but not everybody's dinner.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
God's Hug
Things with my son have settled down for now. I wish I was grateful, but I'm not. I'm waiting for the next thing. What will hit me next? I've just got my balance back from reeling in the shock and agony of what the last six months has brought to my family. I now understand the phrase "anguish of soul". It is a pain so intense that you can't think where to turn. I never would have thought that pain that wasn't physical could hurt so bad.
Eventually I did turn to God. I also tried to turn to people in the church who were praying for us. That didn't work out. I wanted someone I could see and touch to be there with me through that time, even if it was just on the phone. For some reason I thought that at least they could listen and pray for me as I had to live it. I was living it, and they couldn't even handle hearing about it. So much for people coming alongside.
I did find someone who was there on the phone, for the times I needed a person who understood. She had a son like mine, she understood my pain, she let me talk and cry. She prayed for me and our family. I've never even seen her and we don't even live in the same state, but I've cried into the phone with her countless times in the last six months. She could handle it, because she's lived it.
I haven't talked to her for a while now. I need to call her again, just to talk. She was God's hug to me.
Eventually I did turn to God. I also tried to turn to people in the church who were praying for us. That didn't work out. I wanted someone I could see and touch to be there with me through that time, even if it was just on the phone. For some reason I thought that at least they could listen and pray for me as I had to live it. I was living it, and they couldn't even handle hearing about it. So much for people coming alongside.
I did find someone who was there on the phone, for the times I needed a person who understood. She had a son like mine, she understood my pain, she let me talk and cry. She prayed for me and our family. I've never even seen her and we don't even live in the same state, but I've cried into the phone with her countless times in the last six months. She could handle it, because she's lived it.
I haven't talked to her for a while now. I need to call her again, just to talk. She was God's hug to me.
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