Painful questions**trgrs**

I stare at my palms and see the sweat gleam in the light and occasionally drip off my hands. Breathing is somewhat uncomfortable. My heart feels squeezed and seems to be working overtime. My stomach is tied up in knots. I ask myself is this worth it? Should I be dragging up the past again? I can't believe that I thought I was dealing with things so well, when all it takes is a TV show or reference to abuse in a book for me to have a hard time. I deal with it by not dealing with it. Is that what I'm supposed to do? Is "dealing with it" wrong? Is ignoring it right? Am I the problem in the here and now? How does one just get over it?

Where is justice? By not actively pursuing justice am I in some way allowing him to continue to abuse others? Am I responsible for what he possibly has been doing for the last 3 years? Or does it go back even farther? Or am I just being stupid right now and I'm not in any way responsible?

I am doing what I can right now in this very difficult blog to be found by others who were abused by their teacher/coach/principal. He has had many roles in various christian schools across the country. I want to stop him from continuing. He hasn't repented or even acknowledged any wrong doing when confronted. I only need one person to stand with me to stop him. If that's you; then please contact me. (I'm working on fixing my email--it's a spam magnet) I think it's fixed now :) Please use either The Journey of Grace or Abuse in the subject line, that way I can find it in my email.