I'm Too Young to Lose My Car in the Parking Lot: except I did. Too bad my hyper-alertness didn't remember where I parked.

Today the lights were too bright.  The noise was too harsh.  I couldn't put together one of my child's toys by following the picture directions.  The ability to concentrate and hold on to thoughts was diminished.  It was all about being overloaded.  I went shopping today.  By the time I finished at the third store I was finished.  Too many people.  Too much everything.  The cashier said something to me three times and I couldn't understand what he meant.  Another customer repeated it to me in a simpler way and used fewer words.  I replied with some sort of response back that I hope made sense.  I'm not sure if it did.  The cashier looked at me oddly, but still tried to carry on a conversation.  I think I had one semi intelligent sentence.  He kept looking at me strangely.  I wonder if he knows me from somewhere, or if maybe he thought I was high or drunk. 

I left the store and looked for my vehicle.  I couldn't find it for quite a while.  I think I went up and down half of the aisles at Wal-mart looking for it. 

Today was a mix of dissociation and being hyper-alert.  Hence my inability to find where I parked.  The headache and tiredness came from just being alive today.  It's a different kind of tired.  It's being wore out from the inside out.  I may be doing a decent job numbing my pain, but I haven't been able to turn off everything else yet.  I'm still dissociating and having PTSD symptoms.  It's hard to get all areas shut down at the same time.  Like right now as I'm typing my eyes are doing funny things and going all blurry and not letting me focus.