It finally makes sense why most of the "help" I have received has only caused more pain and feelings of hopelessness.
http://robinphillips.blogspot.com/2011/10/problems-with-jay-adams-and-nouthetic.html
Don't question God. Asking why shows you're doubting God's goodness. If you don't forgive; then God won't forgive you. Christ died on the cross for your sins, the least you can do is to forgive your perpetrator. (Is that word supposed to sound better than abuser or rapist?) At least it's better than Wood and Mazak's "offender".
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I'm planning being more consistent in my blogging, so I'll actually be around to converse with.