What does unconditional love look like when the "performance" is so wretched?
How do I make a distinction between accepting him but not accepting the behavior?
I have a hard time with living like I know that God loves me even when I mess up. I most often live like I have to earn God's favor by my actions. Underneath what I "know" is what I actually believe at my core. I know that God loves me by his choice, but really believe that my actions determine whether He "likes" me.
That's the way I parent too. I love my kids but don't like all of them. I choose to love them, but their actions determine if I actually "like" them at any given time.
Do I have to like my kids in order to truly love them?
How do I love a child who is so awful without seeming to either reward or ignore his behavior?
How can I demonstrate love to my child even while disliking him.
Guess what yesterdays sermon was about.
Yep, one of the points dealt with our relationship to God as Father. I've been chewing on it ever since. Three of my kids are great and teachable and want to do right; but one is not. (Read that as understatement of the year) I would be insufferably proud of my parenting skills if I didn't have the one. I've learned that I don't know it all. I've learned that I don't even understand my relationship with God as my Father. I am still bound up with legalism in my parenting. I don't know how or even if I should do things differently. Is is okay to be legalistic in parenting? Should kids have to earn approval by their actions? Do I tie up my approval of what my kids do, with who they are? I think I do, but should I?
My "one" is not allowed back at church unless Hubby is there. How do I explain that to him? For now I'm not. He doesn't even know. I told him he can go with Grandpa on Sundays and mow the grass etc. to pay back the mirror he broke off his car(a genuine accident, not rage)
How does that fit in with God's love and acceptance of us in spite of what we do? The "one's" acceptance at church is based on his actions. That's the way life is. But shouldn't the church reflect how God relates to us instead of how the world relates? This brings up the idea of covenant children. Since Hubby and I are christians where does that leave our children? Are we to view them as part of the covenant and treat them as such? At what point do we concede the point that perhaps a particular child is not included and should be treated as an unbeliever?
I wish I understood more. I just come up with more questions.
Hmmm...
ReplyDeleteOne of the most profound scriptures for me in recent years that might assist you as you chew on the sermon you heard and the challenges you are currently facing in life is found in Luke chapter 15. The prodigal son. Vs. 11 thru 32.
The father is generous to his unloving and ungrateful son.
The father allows his son to make choices / decisions that lead to separation from the father but ultimately hurt and humble the son...causing him to eventually come to repentence.
Even though the son has left his father's presence, the father is actively seeking his son as he saw his son "from a distance..."
His father felt compassion for him, ran to his son, embraces him and kissed him...
His father restored his repentive son to "son status" by robing him, putting a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet...the father took care of his physical needs.
His father fed him and they celebrated his repentence and return to the family....
His father looked at things from a biblical / God perspective instead of a human / man-centered non-eternal view...when making peace with the other son...verse 32.
Note: there was rebellion in BOTH sons. One was external, the other was in the heart and manifested itself self-righteously when the eldest son was hurt and upset by the father's love toward the younger son who flagrantly sinned against the father.
I don't know how to apply that to our situation. What would that look like for us?
ReplyDeleteWHat do you do when the prodigal doesn't repent?
ReplyDelete