Do you ever realize that you're probably wrong about something, but you just can't let go of it? I've a few things right now that are that way. It's always been easy to excuse because the other person is a lot more to blame than I am.
What I'm struggling with right now is that I'm keeping people at arms length or farther because somebody recently dropped me and backed off like I came down with leprosy. It's not that I'm so thin-skinned that I can't take it. It's more the timing of and that it seems to be the story of my life.
How do I look to Jesus and not people and yet still have biblical relationships and real fellowship? I understand that people will disappoint or outright hurt me in various ways. I want to minimize the damage by acting the turtle. I don't want to be a box turtle and keep everybody completely out and I don't want to be a snapping turtle and scare everyone off. I'm thinking I'd like to be some type of sea turtle or giant tortoise; approachable, but not everybody's dinner.
How to describe this journey? I suffered a lot of abuse as a child especially at the hands of my teacher in the Christian school I attended. I face up to it off and on. When I ignore it...well that's not so good either. Where does grace come in? Read on and I hope you'll see. I'm still trying to figure it out. I write this like I'm talking to a friend who understands or at least is trying to. You're welcome to join the conversation.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
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Feel free to join the conversation with me, myself and I. ;)
I'm planning being more consistent in my blogging, so I'll actually be around to converse with.